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FBI seeking informants in the Twin Cities

May 14, 2008 at 3:39 am (Uncategorized)

Following is a statement from a person known to EWOK! (Earth Warriors are OK!, formerly the Twin Cities Eco-Prisoner Support Committee). This person was approached by the local JTTF and offered the possibility of being a paid informant.

The individual has rejected the offer and now has an NLG lawyer. His statement should both inspire us for his refusal to cooperate, and remind us that he is probably not the only person solicited by the government in such a way and, unfortunately, we have to assume that some people will cooperate.

“As I was biking back from court, my phone rang. I let it go to answering machine and checked it when I was off my bike. It was the police officer who I talked to about my graffiti. It said something like, “This isn’t graffiti related but I need your help with something. You’re not in trouble, give me a call.” I give him a call. Something like this:

“I’d like to meet with you today. It’s not about graffiti.” “I’m not going to rat anyone out, what do you want.” Don’t really know why I said that. I was nervous, I suppose. “Twenty minutes of your time. Where do you want to meet?” “I don’t know, Eric, where do you want to meet? And can you tell me what this is about?” “I’ll explain it when we meet. How about Expresso Expose?” “Sure.” “When’s good?” “How about 12:30.”

So now I’m antsy and confused. I get there fifteen minutes early and then he comes a bit late. He says, “This is my partner,” and he referred to the woman next to him. They both got coffee, leaving me in my shaky, dumbfounded mental state even longer. Then we sat down and she flashes an FBI badge. Seeing my nerves they reassured me again that I was safe and not guilty of anything. Then for twenty minutes they flatter me about how my personality and appearance are perfect matches for what is required in some espionage dealio. They wanted me to crash vegan potluck parties and get into the inner circle of terrorists because supposedly terrorists are trusting and I’m “trusting, easy going, funny,” and a bunch of other flattery. Every time they said “vegan potluck” I chuckled, but their faces showed they weren’t kidding. They said “vegan potluck” half a dozen times. They really feared vegans and their violent conspiracies to blow up buildings in protest to the republican national convention.

So after twenty minutes of bewildering suckups, they ask me if I’m in. They say there’s compensation if I assist in someone’s arrest. I say “ummmmmmm I’ll pass.” She says, “That was the fastest anyone has ever rejected me,” and then tried for ten more minutes to get me to change my mind before saying, “Really: think about it. We could really use you.” Then she gave me a business card. On the back she wrote me her cell phone number. I said “you have very legible handwriting,” and they both had themselves a hearty laugh. “Call if you change your mind. Don’t tell any of your friends about this and don’t show anyone this card.” We said our goodbyes and I haven’t heard from either of them since.”